Assalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim
1. Preface
Beloved, God-loving friends, in cognitive psychology, the human brain has an extraordinary ability to perform “imaginary composition.” When a husband lets his eyes wander freely toward what is unlawful, his brain begins to gather pieces of aesthetics from various sources to create an “ideal object” in the subconscious that is not actually real. The big problem arises when he comes home and compares his real wife to that imaginary model; gratitude vanishes. Lowering the gaze (Ghadul Bashar) is not merely a religious rule, but a psychological therapy to preserve emotional health and satisfaction in marriage.Allah SWT has given a very clear instruction to safeguard the purity of our souls:
قُلْ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِيْنَ يَغُضُّوْا مِنْ اَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوْا فُرُوْجَهُمْۗ ذٰلِكَ اَزْكٰى لَهُمْۗ
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That is purer for them.” (QS. An-Nur: 30)
The Messenger ﷺ also warned of the destructive impact of an unguarded gaze on the human heart:
النَّظْرَةُ سَهْمٌ مَسْمُومٌ مِنْ سِهَامِ إِبْلِيسَ
“The glance is one of the poisoned arrows from the arrows of Iblis.” (HR. Al-Hakim)
2. Explanation
The balance of affection in a household begins with guarded eyes. Lowering the gaze is the quietest yet deepest form of loyalty. When you guard your eyes to see only the beauty of your wife, Allah miraculously plants contentment in your heart. Have you ever seen an elderly man still looking at his wrinkled grandmother with eyes full of love? The secret is simple; he deliberately “blinded” his eyes from other women since youth so that in his heart there is only one most beautiful image—the face of his wife. This is the beauty of faith; when the eyes lower for Allah, Allah elevates the degree of affection between husband and wife beyond the limits of time.Guarding the gaze is like tending a private rose garden. If you are busy looking at other people’s gardens, your own garden will be neglected. But if you focus on caring for your own garden, the roses there will bloom with the most fragrant scent. We can be funny sometimes; outside the house, our eyes are sharper than an eagle’s in spotting details of others, but at home, we don’t even notice when our wife changes her housecoat or cuts her hair. We are busy building an “imaginary model” in our heads until we forget that the real model is waiting in the living room. Remember, an imaginary model can’t accompany you when you’re sick. Don’t lose a “real gem” just because you’re chasing a “mirage” on your phone screen or in the streets.
3. Lessons and Message
The fundamental lesson from this article is that what we take in through the eyes will determine what the heart feels.
The moral message: loyalty begins with the gaze. Don’t let the “poisoned arrow” enter and ruin the beauty of affection in your home. Focus on what Allah has made lawful for you, for therein lies true blessing and tranquility. Happiness is not found by seeking what is “more perfect,” but by being grateful for the one who “faithfully stands by you.”
4. Conclusion
Beloved brothers and sisters, lowering the gaze is a clear directive to safeguard family happiness. When we obey this command of Allah, it is Allah Himself who will directly create peace between husband and wife. Let us guard our eyes so our hearts remain pure and our homes remain little heavens filled with the light of His pleasure.
. والله أعلم بالصواب
الحمد لله رب العالمين
Wassalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
Oleh : Abu Sultan Al-Qadrie
