Assalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Bismillahir-Rahmanir- Rahim
1.Preface
In family psychology, delaying marriage due to unrealistic material barriers can trigger high levels of anxiety and frustration among young people. Scientifically, when the natural human need for companionship is hindered by social burdens—such as demands for a luxury house or a lavish wedding—society tends to experience moral degradation. Easing marriage does not mean devaluing a woman; rather, it builds a foundation for mental health and social stability. A realistic father is a hero who safeguards his child’s mental and spiritual future.
2. Explanation
Allah SWT immortalized the story of Prophet Shu‘ayb (AS) who eased the marriage of his daughter to Prophet Musa (AS):
وَمَآ اُرِيْدُ اَنْ اَشُقَّ عَلَيْكَ ۗ سَتَجِدُنِيْٓ اِنْ شَاۤءَ اللّٰهُ مِنَ الصّٰلِحِيْنَ
“…And I do not intend to make things difficult for you. If Allah wills, you will find me among the righteous.” (QS. Al-Qasas: 27) The Messenger of Allah ﷺ also reminded us that blessing lies in ease:
أَعْظَمُ النِّسَاءِ بَرَكَةً أَيْسَرُهُنَّ مَئُونَةً
“The woman with the greatest blessing is the one whose dowry is the easiest.” (HR. Ahmad)
3. Lessons and Message
O fathers, when a righteous suitor comes, do not demand something that you yourself could not provide when you proposed to your wife. Demanding a move-in-ready house in an elite neighborhood from a young man just starting his career is a subtle yet character-killing form of coercion. If you make lawful marriage difficult, you are indirectly leaving the doors of sin open for your daughter. Your heroism lies in being a bridge, not a barrier, to your child’s chastity. There was a devout orphaned young man who wished to propose to the girl of his dreams. But the prospective father-in-law demanded a dowry and wedding costs equal to ten years of his salary. The young man went home in tears, and the girl shut herself away, heartbroken. Years later, the father realized his mistake when his daughter remained unmarried due to trauma, and he said through his tears, “I used to chase my son-in-law’s wealth; now I’ve lost my daughter’s smile.” Regret always comes too late when material things are deemed more valuable than character. Making marriage conditions difficult is like building a high wall in front of someone who is thirsty. Yet behind that wall lies clear water—lawful marriage. If the wall is too high to climb, the thirsty person may seek water elsewhere, even if that water is poisonous—immorality. Be an open door, not a wall that drives people to despair. There was a father who asked for the latest car and a multi-story house as dowry. The young man asked, “Sir, what was your dowry when you married my mother-in-law?” The father answered, “Just a set of prayer tools, son.” The young man grinned, “Oh, sir, why has the ‘exchange rate’ gone up so sharply now? Has a prayer set become as expensive as a sports car?” Father, remember: a son-in-law seeks a wife to build a life together, not to pay installments for his in-laws’ prestige!
4. Conclusion
A righteous, faithful father is one who follows the example of Prophet Shu‘ayb—not intending to burden, but intending to protect chastity. Easing the suitor’s affairs is proof that you love your daughter’s Hereafter more than showing off luxury before the neighbors. Let us make what is lawful easy, so that Allah will make our affairs easy on the Day of Judgment.
والله أعلم بالصواب
الحمد لله رب العالمين
Wassalamu’alaikum Warahmaullahi Wabarakatuh.
ِAbu Sultan Al-Qadrie
